Sunday, December 8, 2013

How to be lazy and productive at the same time

Welcome to my Saturday! Aka Caturday.

 This is how it went down, in chronological order. I have the uncanny ability to be productively lazy. It's a gift and a curse. I figured I would share in case anyone would ever like to try. Just follow the steps below - they are a recipe for success. Or failure. Depends on your perspective.

1. Run a half marathon. Proceed to convince yourself that 99% of Americans are still sleeping in their beds while you are in Orlando running 13.1 miles in unbearable conditions for December. This obviously entitles you to whatever the heck you want for the rest of the day.

Photo cred: Paula from Eat: Watch: Run - there is no other way put into words the atrocity that the weather in Orlando was yesterday...and has been for quite some time.

2. Eat. Then tell yourself that because you ate, you must rest. Continue to rest for hours upon end, because it wears you out to keep resting for so long.

3. Do three loads of laundry, fold them, but don't put them away. The fact that you even did laundry in the first place should be rewarded. With a cider. Or three.

This cider literally tastes like liquid Jolly Ranchers. Which is good for my taste buds, and bad for every other aspect of my life.

4. Organize your house, but don't clean it. Cleaning should be saved for another day. There's always tomorrow, right?

5. Watch five episodes of American Horror Story Asylum. Scare yourself into taking a shower. See, you weren't lazy, you took a shower! (6 hours after you ran a half marathon, but whatever).

This show is amazing. But it really does scare the crap out of me.

6. Leave the house to get Panera for dinner. The fact that you got out of bed qualifies as an accomplishment. It does not matter that you did not even drive and you convinced your bf that he needed to chauffeur you. You left your bed and that's all that matters.

7. Eat Panera. So productive! And tasty.

I love their Thai Chicken Salad. This is not my actual salad. I got it to go and then inhaled it so fast that there was no time for pictures.

8. Play with your new Samsung Galaxy 3 Tablet. 

This thing is pretty cool and I do not regret my Cyber Monday purchase.

9. Google "cat memes" and then laugh hysterically at what Google provides you with.

10. Complain about the fact that Sunday will be too busy and you don't really want to do anything.

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